Things We Cannot Change
by Tw3454
Summary: Ten years have passed and the O.C. gang have drifted apart. Now, a tragedy will bring them all back together and they'll have to decide which relationships are worth revisiting.
1. The King is Gone

Hey everybody. Thanks for checking out my story. Some of you may recognize this story's title and summary. You are not crazy, this is a reboot. I wrote the bulk of this story under an old account when I was around 14-15 years old. I did it mostly for fun then, but now I find myself wanting to pursue a career in writing. The reasons for re-tackling this story are twofold: 1) I've tried re-reading the story and I simply can't get through it. I feel like it's poorly written and I could make it better. 2) In order to truly see if I have the skill to do this, I think one of the better ways to assess myself is by trying to improve the longest piece of finished work I've ever done (which this is). So to new readers: I sincerely hope you enjoy. To old readers: I'd like you to give me a shot. This won't be a paint by numbers retread. The core storyline and some key moments will be left unchanged, but I will be actively trying to improve upon the original in story content as well as technical skill.

If you could find the time to leave a review it would be insanely helpful to me. You have no idea how much a nice comment (or even a constructive negative one) will motivate me. Regardless though, I'll be updating rather frequently so please check back often. Most importantly though, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I started writing the original around the time season two was airing. As Marissa was still on the show I wrote the story with her among the characters. For the sake of the storyline, I'm acting as if season three ended with Marissa going to stay with her Dad and therefore cutting the show's storyline of Volcheck manslaughter.

Things We Cannot Change

Chapter One: The King is Gone

The blaring siren of the alarm clock was a jarring and unwelcome push back into reality. Ryan Atwood stretched across his king sized bed to slap the clock a few times until the shrieking cry ended. He took a moment to fully rouse himself from the grips of sleep and finally forced himself to sit on the edge of the mattress. He rubbed his eyes and went through the torturous daily ritual of remembering the emptiness he felt inside. He had a great house with everything he could want, a burgeoning construction company he co-owned and a small but close group of loyal friends. Even so, Ryan couldn't help but look back at the happiest times in his life. Time spent in the California poolhouse of a perfect family who took a shot on him. Long, exhausting talks with the comic loving loner who would become more like a brother than his own flesh and blood. The quiet loving moments with the girl next door; The tall soft featured woman he thought would be the love of his life.

It wasn't so much the distance that drove them apart as it was their changing personalities. Ryan stayed west to follow in Sandy's Berkeley footsteps before eventually landing in Nevada as Marissa headed an ocean away to be with her Father. They talked everyday for the first few months, both making promises that they wouldn't let what they had just die. But time wore on and they both adjusted to their new lives without each other. Marissa decided all they were doing was holding each other back. They had one last long conversation one night and that was the last time they spoke. Nearly ten years had passed since Ryan heard her voice, but a part of him never truly left Marissa's side. The few relationships he pushed himself into never lasted very long or meant anything real. Work became his great love and Atwood-Stanley Construction was turning a corner. He forced himself into the shower and hoped success would fulfill him at last.

Ryan grabbed his coffee mug, cell phone and a perfectly smeared bagle on the way out the door. He was running so late the ringing of his cell phone barely registered to him. He propped his belongings on the top of his BMW and grabbed his phone. The name on the screen stopped him dead in his tracks. It wasn't as if he had totally broken contact with his former life, it had been at least a year though and it was odd to get a call from Kirsten Cohen so early in the morning.

"Wow, I didn't think they started the day until noon in Newpsieville. How are you Kirsten?"

Ryan waited for a sarcastic comeback that never came. Instead he heard a light sniffling sound on the other end. Kirsten's usual strong and assertive voice was replaced with a shaky sob.

"Ryan... I'm sorry. I've been staring at the phone for an hour trying to work up the nerve to call. God, I'm sorry."

Ryan had only seen his surrogate Mother cry once, the day they sent her away to rehab. Her face contorting in a mask of shame and sadness had never left his memory. Just hearing her voice breaking in hurt killed him inside.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Kirsten. What's wrong?"

"I hate to have to tell you this over the phone," she said. Once again the line went silent for a second. Kirsten took a deep breath before continuing, "Sandy was coming home from work last night and there was an...There was an accident. The Hospital called me in this morning to identify him. He didn't make it."

For a moment he felt nothing. He glanced around his neighborhood for a second, waiting for his brain to fully process what he heard. All of a sudden he felt as if all the air in his lungs was knocked out and he fell to his knees. He felt dizzy with grief and there were already tears building in his eyes. He reached down to pick up his phone and tried to find the words to say.

"Kirsten I am so sorry," was all that came to him. What could he say that would make her pain go away. "What can I do?"

"I'd like you to be here if you could. Seth and I will need help getting through this. Not to mention funeral planning."

"Oh my God, Seth. How is he handling it?" Ryan said. Ryan was probably closer to Seth than anyone from his Newport years, but they still hadn't spoken more than 3 times in the past couple years. Ryan still felt guilty he hadn't done more to keep their friendship strong.

"You're the first person I called. I don't know why... I figured you would take it better. I need to look my son in the eye when I tell him."

"I wanna be there with you," Ryan said, "I don't want you doing this alone."

"Okay, thank you.. I'm gonna be on the next flight to New York. Meet you there?"

"Yeah. I have to run by my office and tell my partner I'll be out, but I'll meet you out there tonight."

"Thank you Ryan. I love you."

"Love you too."

Ryan picked himself up from the floor and leaned on the side of his car. Even now the reality of the situation was evading him. Sanford Cohen, angel of mercy, architect of the man he had become was gone. He tried to remember the last time he had seen his face or heard his voice. He cursed himself for letting the people he love drift away from him. Now he had to face his old friend and deliver the worst news.

The five hours spent in the plane felt like a lifetime to Ryan. Suspended above the earth with nothing but time and silence caused him endlessly ponder how he would break the news to Seth. A man he hadn't seen in over a year, a man who he told absolutely everything to. A man who was there to comfort him through every low his life handed to him. He could only hope he could be there for him now.

It was early evening in New York City when Ryan finally made his way off of the plane. He could see the sun had already fallen halfway down the sky, it's light twinkling along the glass of the city skyline. He grabbed his bag and began to exit the airport, only stopping when he saw her out of the corner of his eye. Kirsten sat on a bench across the room, her bag carelessly thrown to the floor. Still beautiful, as Ryan always thought she was, but there was a scary paleness to her. It was as if last night's news had sucked the life out of her. She had her hair haphazardly up in a pony tail and her sparkling blue eyes looked a little dimmer than he remembered. She stood to greet him and Ryan smiled as he tried to hide his heartache. She looked absoutely drained and it was unbearable to see her like this.

"Thank you for coming Ryan, I don't know how I could have come alone."

"Of course," he said. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "I want to be here."

Their embrace lasted a moment before they broke away and started walking out of the airport. Ryan hailed a cab outside the building and Kirsten had to check her phone to remember Seth's address. The ride lasted 15 minutes, but now they both wish the long journey hadn't ended so quickly after all. Everything they had tried to push aside, everything they tried to ignore for the last few hours came rushing back into focus. The elevator up to the 7th floor of the apartment building was a rocket train in their eyes. Down the hall they walked, trying to form the words they would need to comfort Seth.

The golden ornaments on the door read '704'. Kirsten once again looked to her phone to make sure, as she couldn't hold the memory long enough anymore. A silent nod in Ryan's direction was all he need to know that it was time. No more travel, no more worrying and no more stalling. The moment they had come to fear the most was finally upon them and there was only one thing left to do.

(Knock, Knock)

That concludes chapter one. Thank you again for reading, I sincerely appreciate it. Please drop a review if you have a second and hopefully you'll come back for the continuing saga. Take care.


	2. Messengers

Things we Cannot Change

chapter two: Messengers

Seth sat at the dining room table angrily scratching at his straggly new beard. He started it out just through laziness, but had hoped it would make him look more artistic. Turns out it got him a lot more grief than it was worth. He sat in front of a yellow legal tablet, pen in hand, waiting for inspiration to strike. He knew from his early teenage years he wanted to write the 'Great American Graphic Novel'; yet when it came time to put pen to paper everything ran blank. Seth had made a solid living for years drawing and inking art for other people's work, but he yearned for the total artistic control that the early 'Atomic County' days allowed him. He ran his fingers through his hair and tossed the pen away. He stared up at the ceilng for a while, just waiting for something, anything to move him.

(Knock-Knock)

Seth rose from his chair and walked lazily to the door. He rarely got visitors and just assumed it was another package from Zach containing the last few issues of AC. So when he swung the door open and saw his Mother and Ryan standing in his doorway, he was understandably shaken.

"What. The. Hell?" Seth said. A giant grin crossed his face as he embraced his family.

Kirsten and Ryan forced smiles for Seth and hugged him eagerly. They embraced for a short while before Seth broke the hug and pointed around his apartment.

"Not bad for a hack comic writer now is it?"

He had an immense pride in his home. It was sparsely decorated in a beige theme. Splashes of color could be found on the walls in the form of framed comic covers he had made. Captain Oats had made residence in a glass case on the living room coffee table, as if he was the grand center piece for the room. Seth shoved his notepad away and led Ryan and Kirsten to the dining room table. Seth's ear to ear smile was ever present, even as his two guests shared uncomfortable glances.

"So what exactly brings you guys to New York? I hate to think that you would just jump on a plane to say hi. Actually, I don't hate that, that would be really nice. Ryan, I haven't heard from you in forever man! I thought you dropped off the face of the Earth."

"Just been busy," Ryan said. He couldn't keep eye contact with Seth for more than a few seconds. He found his eyes racing around the room, searching for anything else to focus on.

"Business has been picking up recently and I've barely had time to get a good night's sleep in months. Just kinda forgot to call."

"And my dear Mother! You show up unannounced and don't even bother to bring Dad. He's not hanging out at The Bagelry, is he?"

Tears immediately start welling in Kirsten's eyes and she quickly moves to wipe them away. The smirk on Seth's face is gone in seconds as he reaches out to hold his Mother's hand. He looks deeply into her eyes, trying to find an answer to her tears, but can't read her. Kirsten finally opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted as someone opens the door.

"Oh my God, Seth didn't tell me you guys were coming!"

Summer kicked the door closed behind her and dropped a few grocery bags from her hands. Ryan and Kirsten stood up to hug and say hello to Summer Cohen. Seth sat still in his chair, still waiting for the answers for his Mother's tears. He gave Summer a quick kiss and she left the room to unpack her groceries.

Kirsten was visibly shaking and still fumbling for the right words to say. All she could muster was, "When are you two gonna give me a grandkid?"

Seth ignored the pleasantry and fixed his gaze on Ryan. Once again waiting for someone to speak. Ryan takes a deep breath and searches his mind for a way to start.

"I'm sorry Seth. I don't even know how to begin this," Ryan said. Kirsten started sobbing more openly now, waiting to hear the news she already knows.

"Your Dad was... umm. Sandy was in a car accident."

Seth's eyes lit up in shock. He looked to his Mother who was covering her mouth and looking at the floor. He left his chair and moved to kneel beside her.

"He's okay, right? I mean, he's in the hospital or something?"

Kirsten brought her eyes up to meet Seth. The whites of her eyes strained to a pale red from exhaustion and a seemingly endless stream of tears. She holds back a heavy sigh for the sake of her son. She knows it has to be her that tells him.

"He didn't make it honey."

Just like that everything changed. A stray tear escaped from Seth's eye but his face belied a mix of sadness and disbelief. Sandy Cohen was everything to his Son. The bright, shining example of everything good that a person could be. Defiantly noble in the face of corruption, bravely generous to the stray that would become a second son. Even his self righteous tendencies were a badge of honor on him. Yet now he was gone.

Summer rounded the corner from the kitchen with tears in her eyes and immediately ran to Seth. She cradled him in her arms and planted a kiss on his forehead. Ryan focused his gaze on his beloved second family and couldn't shake a sense of dread. Who was he without Sandy Cohen? Who would any of them be with him? Seth shrugged Summer off of him and exited the apartment. Ryan took off after him leaving Summer and Kirsten at the table.

Ryan finally caught up to Seth only to find him punching the elevator buttons and grunting in unspeakable anguish. Ryan stood a few feet away from him as Seth relented from abusing the control panel and slumped to the floor. Seth cradled his head in his hands and tried to fight back the lump in his throat. Ryan sat down beside him and put his arm around his old friend. He had never truly known his biological Father but had come to know Sandy as one; Yet now, staring at someone who had truly lost their Dad, he couldn't imagine how it really felt.

"What the hell am I gonna do without him?" Seth said. He pawed at his face, trying to clean away the wet streaks lining his face. "Any time I couldn't figure something out I went to him and he would come running, you know?"

"I know Seth. I didn't believe it when your Mom told me. I just assumed he would always be out there, just waiting for us to call. But we're gonna be okay. You have Summer, you have Kirsten and you have me. This is terrible, but we all have to be here for each other." Ryan said.

Seth stood up again and started pacing the long hallway. He brushed his knuckles against his face, relishing the light scratching against his hand. He just needed to feel something else besides the creeping self doubt and tremendous sense of loss. Summer and Kirsten came around the corner, holding hands and holding back more tears. Seth walked over and enveloped the women he loved most in a hug. Kirsten kissed Seth's cheek and tousled his black hair. Ryan stood up and walked over to the group and slapped his hand on Seth's back. They all cherished each other's company in that moment.

"I'm so sorry Mom. I'm sorry you had to see him by yourself." Seth said.

" I would never let you see him that way. That's not how your Father would want you to think of him. He loved you too much. Both of you." Kirsten said. She extended her reach to wrap Ryan in her arm.

"What now?" Seth said.

Kirsten relinquished her grip on her sons and grabbed a kleenex from her purse. She lightly dabbed Seth's eyes and fixed his hair. "I have to start making funeral arrangements," she said, "I want you all to come and stay at the house. It's too big in there with no one else."

"Of course Mom, we'll get some stuff together." Seth said. He led the group back into his apartment.

Seth sat on his bed began to plan everything he would need for his grand return to Orange County. He couldn't help remembering all the good and bad times he had seen in his hometown and how much more liberated he felt in New York. Summer entered the bedroom and sat down behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder and kissing his cheek.

"How are you doing sweetie?" She said.

Seth kissed her and took his hand in his. "I don't even know how to describe this. I feel lost."

"I can't imagine," she said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. She kissed his temple and brushed his hair back with her hand. "Whatever you're feeling, whatever you need, just tell me. I'm with you, Seth, and we will get through this together.

He basked in the loving embrace of the only woman he had ever truly loved. Ten years had only intensified his feelings for her and everyday he was grateful for his time with her.

"I know we will. I just need to keep it together and be strong for my Mom. She looks exhausted."

"You will be strong for her...And I will be strong for you." Summer said. She kissed Seth again before grabbing her bags and walking out of the room.

Everyone gathered at the door of the apartment with bags in hand, ready for the long trip back home. Seth hugged Ryan and his Mother once more, holding them close to him.

"Thank you for coming here. It means a lot that you would come all this way together and be here when I found out."

"Of course honey," Kirsten said, "We wouldn't have it any other way."

Ryan grabbed Summer's bags for her and held the door open as everyone filed out. He patted Seth on the arm as he went through the door. "Ready to go back to the O.C?" Ryan said.

"Please, please don't call it that." Seth said. He smiled for the first time in hours and flipped the apartment light switch off.


End file.
